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ABSURD

What do I write about that hasn’t already been written? Why do I put myself through this absurdity? Why? My soul out here in the open. …Well, why the Hell not? It’s not like I’m not used to an audience. Perennial Performance Artist. Artiste. The Topic. Timely or time-worn?

Do I write about my first spanking in my dorm room? Nope. Been there, done that. Maybe. The Coming to New York story: an innocent newbie in for a forbidden weekend away from school. Meeting “Daddy” from a personal ad in the Village Voice? And also who happened to be a bouncer at Hellfire—before I even knew what Hellfire was. Me: Getting spanked, and flogged, and fucked in the ass all night long… With the police lock shoved firmly against the front door. Yeah, THAT was an experience!

Sense memory all packed and safely catalogued. …Nah. No sizzle left in me for that one. Then there was the time in that scene club downtown—dancing to Annie Lenox on the sound system— wearing my black denim skirt that zipped all the way down the back; with my every butt-thrusting move, unzipping it higher and higher... Bent over a ready bar stool, then spanked hard by a way cool dude in a black vest and black cowboy hat. Audience participation was high that night! So was I, but my ass never felt better.

“Memories. Like the corners of my mind…” Babs Streisand wasn’t wailing about corner time, now was she? Kneeling facing the corner, head to the floor, bare bottom raised high. Thighs spread so wide he could do a pelvic exam from across the room. Crawling backward to him. Choreographed. Cat-like, licking his black leather boots while his hand carelessly caressed, then spanked me till I begged—pleaded--to cum. My hair pulled back tight till he could see the whites of my eyes. The orgasm throttled me into next week. Basement laundry room. Inching perilously down the stairs on hands and knees. “Get your ass undressed.” Bent over the double sinks, naked and nervous, my rump is high and warm for his form. Spanked again: slow. (“I like a man with a slow hand… I like a man with a heated touch…”). Taken from behind, my hair fanned out over the drain in the sink. Wet. Wanton in the wash cycle… But all the dirt and guilt doesn’t disappear in the rinse.

Roar of the greasepaint… Back seat of the taxi, my spanking was hot, heavy, and non-stop. Taunting the grinning cabbie to pull over and watch the show. He had a great time: front row seat. And I had a wild ride! Nice… Sex. Spanking. Lust. Lashes. Languor. Terror. Tenderness a premium? …But every once in a while, his gentle hand stroking my hair from my forehead, and the permission granted to release the tears, made it another game. Another realm of discovery. What was I? Hard ass. Hard heart. Hard case. New York chick willing to do…? Scared shitless schoolgirl shiksa, but playing the game. Researching my role. Performance spanko-junkie.

The great pretender. Deviant deception. Virtual Vignettes — “Gee, Toto, I have a feeling I’m not a virgin anymore!” I chose. I played. I came... Back for more Don’t you know? Acting is my life.

THE END

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